Complete This Two-Sentence Horror Story:

[honestinjun]

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

Edited February 25, 2023 by honestinjun

[Zeuk]

Jacob Rees Mogg looked at me, smiled and said ... " you think these sovereigns will stay capital gains free for ever? "

[SidS]

52 minutes ago, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coins coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

The skeleton smiled and said, "Hi, I'm @James32. I've lost some weight of late as I've put all my energies into gathering gold instead of food. You my friend, are very foolish. If you want to keep hold of your gold, then you'll have to hide it better than this."

Edited February 25, 2023 by SidS

[westminstrel]

2 hours ago, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coins coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

… and, cackling, it said, “Sucks you can’t take these beyond the grave eh?”

[silvergaga]

Can I have the bag please. What is the cheapest price Mr Ghost?

[stefffana]

Its not for you, @silvergaga! @honestinjun paid already for this bag with his soul, even he don't know yet!

[SidS]

9 minutes ago, stefffana said:

Its not for you, @silvergaga! @honestinjun paid already for this bag with his soul, even he don't know yet!

He's been doing dealings with @LawrenceChard again? Did he make the mistake of asking for free postage? 😁

[MickB]

You can have these back as I'm fed up with the junkmail from Harrington & Byrne's still reaching me.

[honestinjun]

2 hours ago, westminstrel said:

… and, cackling, it said, “Sucks you can’t take these beyond the grave eh?”

In alchemy, gold was believed to be the most perfect metal, and the alchemists believed that it could be used to transmute base metals into gold, as well as to create an elixir of immortality.

[SidS]

35 minutes ago, honestinjun said:

In alchemy, gold was believed to be the most perfect metal, and the alchemists believed that it could be used to transmute base metals into gold, as well as to create an elixir of immortality.

Only needed a little mercury to get things going... A few spoonfuls of that and you'd be able to hallucinate anything turning into anything.

[Gordy]

Barry jumped oot, screamed, "its not fair". He then burst into tears..

[bluffer]

12 hours ago, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

and he said is that mr X?   ooops sorry. wrong address, you will get your delivery in another 7 months!

[Bratnia]

23 hours ago, Zeuk said:

Jacob Rees Mogg looked at me, smiled and said ... " you think these sovereigns will stay capital gains free for ever? "

"Yes, at least until cash is no more, otherwise I'm selling a coin I bought for cash just yesterday, paid well over the odds for it - twice spot, and the missus is insisting I get rid of it - painful to take the hit, but anything to keep her happy and at least I'll be able to write off the capital loss against capital gains elsewhere".

Why is there no capital gains tax on Gilts - coz broadly price changes are a zero sum so collecting taxes is just a overall cost.

Why is there no capital gains tax on betting - because most people lose money and so the taxman would end up paying out overall.

Edited February 26, 2023 by Bratnia

[SidS]

On 25/02/2023 at 10:32, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

He turned towards me, dropped the gold and picked up an axe. In an alarming voice he then shrieked, "Here's Wonga!"

[Bratnia]

On 25/02/2023 at 10:32, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

in a haunting slivering whisper he said "You repeatedly told me time is money ... now I see that my time was golden, I'd have given all my money for some extra time"

[daca]

...... keep the coins, I'll take the kilo bars .

[dicker]

I’m from the HMRC, we are here to redistribute your wealth on the instruction of the new Labour government.  To fund:

- Illegal immigrants the government couldn’t be bothered to stop at the borders.  We need to give them nice free homes

- The deliberately unemployed - the government thinks they don’t have enough and want to ensure they all have a new iPhone at least once a year

- New legal appeal to get Shamima Begum back to the U.K. where she “belongs”

Redistribution will make you happy, thank you for your contribution.

[pricha]

You stupid skeleton.  Why aren't your coins in capsules ? Look there are some minty young head sheilds amongst that lot. I know they're not proofs but ffs man. 🙄 

Edited February 27, 2023 by pricha

[Skyfiller]

It was then I knew I had been rumbled. Sovereigns all look the same and I’d hoped she thought it was the same one coming back from repeated restoration. An icy chill swept slowly over the room. The wife had found the stack.

[SidS]

The skeleton grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me closer. It turned one of the shiny golden coins over and held it in front of my face.

"Please read what it says," it grunted in a gravelly voice.

I duly conformed and through squinted eyes read, "Made in China."

 

Edited February 27, 2023 by SidS

[Happypanda88]

On 25/02/2023 at 18:32, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

For a moment, it frightened the life out of me. 

Then it dawned on me that I had placed a mirror behind the closet door !

Fear subsided. It was my reflection !  🙄

[pricha]

What's that you got ? A dozen 1839 ? Common for sovereigns I'm afraid.   I'll pay you spot plus 0.5% 

[SidS]

2 minutes ago, pricha said:

What's that you got ? A dozen 1839 ? Common for sovereigns I'm afraid.   I'll pay you spot plus 0.5% 

Pah! Another 1841... boring 🙄

[pricha]

2 minutes ago, SidS said:

Pah! Another 1841... boring 🙄

I'll make no bones about it. They'll be hard to shift

[MetalMandible]

On 25/02/2023 at 03:32, honestinjun said:

I heard the sound of clinking gold coming from my closet. I slowly opened the door and was greeted by a skeletal figure clutching a bag full of gold coins.....

Stumbling backwards in horror, I watched as the gangly intruder grinned menacingly before dumping the bag's contents.  Shimmering coins clattered to the ground, one rolling to my foot before coming to a stop. 

It was then that I realized that these were no gold coins at all...  they were in fact the foil wrapped chocolates from my dear Aunt Bethany.  My eyes darted back up to the freak standing in the doorway to my closet, and that was when the true panic set in.

The stick-like limbs...  the chocolates...  With a loud clink, HE stepped forward and at that moment I realized the legend was true.  Old man Gregory Golden Nads was here.  And those chocolates weren't the only thing he expected to see in my mouth...