Who's online!

[Roy]

It pleases me to see that the old farts (me) and the married guys are all online with this forum and the young guys/students are all out drinking/shagging/fighting/wasting money like it's 1999!

It's how it should be.

[SilverPirate]

I am to young for medi-care and to old for woman to care.

[Kman]

Hey, I'm not that old psh  

My days of Friday nights out seemed to end in my mid 20s though 

[KDave]

I tell myself I would be out drinking/fighting/wasting money if I did not have to provide daddy day care duties for the young ones in the morning. But the truth is its just an excuse to stay in and look at pictures of shiny coins on the internets. 

[SilverPirate]

I think we get more choices as we get older, only we choose the option that gets us home the quickest.

[Danny-boy]

When you have little ones to look after, going for beers after work becomes a chore (I can't wait to see my little girl after work).

Mommy works long hours, so daddy does the business.

I'd rather play with my little girl than go out drinking, a full fridge of carling works well.

[BaldyBob]

3 hours ago, SilverPirate said:

2 hours ago, Danny-boy said:

I'd rather play with my little girl than go out drinking, a full fridge of carling works well.

 

Isn't it great how happy they are to fetch you that beer as well. It is still working at age 8, reckon I have 2 more years max  

[HighlandTiger]

6 hours ago, BaldyBob said:

Isn't it great how happy they are to fetch you that beer as well. It is still working at age 8, reckon I have 2 more years max  

I can assure you that in another 10 years time, not only will they refuse to fetch you that beer, but when you go to the fridge to get that beer you have been looking forward to all day, you'll find it has disappeared. 

[SilverPirate]

1 hour ago, HighlandTiger said:

I can assure you that in another 10 years time, not only will they refuse to fetch you that beer, but when you go to the fridge to get that beer you have been looking forward to all day, you'll find it has disappeared. 

So true ,lol. and they leave the fridge door open, the lights on, the window open while the heating is on, the car empty of fuel. they ware your socks. borrow your money, cloths on the floor,cups with mold in  on there window sill, soak the bathroom, sit on the toilet for an hour with a smart phone, while your ever ageing bladder stretches to the size of the blue girl in willy wonka. ect ect ect,

Still love them though. and i had five DOH.

[HighlandTiger]

9 hours ago, SilverPirate said:

............and i had five DOH.

I take it that the TV was always on the blink then...  

[SilverPirate]

1 hour ago, HighlandTiger said:

I take it that the TV was always on the blink then...  

And i worked nights.

[sovereignsteve]

1 hour ago, SilverPirate said:

And i worked nights.

In that case, I suggest you look for similarities in appearance to the milkman

Hang on....I had 4 and I worked on-call/nights quite a bit too!

[MikeOxlong]

On 4/23/2016 at 01:58, BaldyBob said:

Isn't it great how happy they are to fetch you that beer as well. It is still working at age 8, reckon I have 2 more years max  

The case for having kids was going well.. until

16 hours ago, SilverPirate said:

So true ,lol. and they leave the fridge door open, the lights on, the window open while the heating is on, the car empty of fuel. they ware your socks. borrow your money, cloths on the floor,cups with mold in  on there window sill, soak the bathroom, sit on the toilet for an hour with a smart phone, while your ever ageing bladder stretches to the size of the blue girl in willy wonka. ect ect ect,

Still love them though. and i had five DOH.

[SilverPirate]

You can either have kids or you can have money and enjoy your self ,

Joking aside i see a lot of lonely people in there old age where they never had kids, I am so grateful to the wife for giving me mine.

I wish it was legal to use a cattle prod on them sometimes though.

I had one come home drunk at five this morning, bless him.I might go and wake him up and see how he likes it.

I have another son with medical issues and we go to watch football all the time, i absolutely love it, its more precocious to me than anything.

Kids are not just for Christmas if you carve them up right there last till Easter. 

[Roy]

Bless you SP, that made me smile 

 

[Paul]

Whilst they are little angels to some you shouldn’t have kids if:

• You dislike children.
• You like to sleep.
• You like to have sex.
• You like to have money.
• You like your freedom.
• You like to swear.
• You like to eat meals sitting down, with real cutlery.
• You like your personal space.
• You like to watch movies from start to finish in one sitting.
• You like to watch HBO.
• You don’t like the appearance or smell of vomit.
• You don’t like the appearance or smell of poop.
• You don’t like the idea of wiping another person’s snot.
• You think “Wheels on the Bus” is a stupid song.
• You like going on dates with your partner.
• You would like things to stay exactly the way they are with your partner.
• You value a daily shower.
• You think weekends at Costco are worthy of a #facepalm tweet.
• You like to shut the door while you’re in the bathroom.
• You take more than one minute to make yourself presentable and ready to be seen in public.
• You don’t like to say “no.”
• You don’t like to take “no” for an answer.
• You lack patience.
• You like keeping your living quarters tidy and neat.
• You enjoy spontaneous outings with friends.
• You disapprove of the five-second rule.
• You like to drink coffee while it’s piping hot.
• You like to speak complete sentences without being interrupted.
• You prefer your iPhone screen to be smudge-free.
• You prefer your iPhone screen to be free of any kind of stickiness.
• You care about your iPhone or iPad at all.
• You like to phone your friends or family during the day.
• You dislike Goldfish crackers or Cheerios.
• You dislike stepping on LEGOs, wooden blocks or Mr. Potato Head parts.
• You strongly believe certain body parts should remain perky.
• You strongly believe other certain body parts should remain intact.
• You are not fond of stretch marks.
• You have a low tolerance for physical and psychological pain.
• You have a low tolerance for asshole-ish behavior.
• You like your current circle of friends who don’t have kids.
• You hate minivans, or even worse — SUVs.
• You are fond of your current shoe collection.
• You like having control of the music in the car.
• You detest unsolicited advice from complete strangers.
• You like your job.
• You like the furniture in your home — glass tops, sharp corners and all.
• You enjoy fine dining.
• You dislike wrinkles — in your clothes, as well as on your face.
• The terms “we” and “us” make you cringe.
• You like the neighbours with whom you share a wall.
• You enjoy engaging in adult conversations.
• You like to go to the gym on a daily basis and eat healthy.
• You like to travel light.
• You like to travel.
• Your pets are important to you.
• You think four colourfully dressed people wiggling their limbs is something no one should have to experience sober.
• You feel that no one other than yourself should be a representation of you.
• You like to party like it’s 1999 every New Year’s Eve.
• You don’t like other (little) people choosing your friends for you.
• You have hobbies, passions or interests.
• You are content at your present weight.
• You dislike reading the same books every day.
• Your mental, psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual health are important to you.
• You like certainty and predictability in your day.
• You don’t like to share everything you own.
• You feel you should be able to take a midday nap or put your feet up whenever you are tired.
• You feel that laundry should be limited to one load per week.
• Matching socks is far from your favourite pastime.
• Extreme emotions frighten you.
• You like to remain informed about current events.
• You prefer not to explain the “birds and the bees” to little people.
• The day you graduated, you swore you’d never set foot in a school again.
• You think holidays such as Christmas and Easter should be relaxing and a chance to unwind.
• You think summer means patios, beer and beaches.
• You think McDonalds is where people go when they have lost all hope.
• The idea of paying thousands of dollars for someone else’s tuition seems ridiculous.
• You think the phrase “Don’t put that in your mouth” is unnecessary.
• You enjoy reading books intended for adults.
• You dislike germs.
• You have an extensive designer wardrobe, and you would die if any of the pieces were ruined or destroyed in some barbaric way.
• You feel that bodily functions and fluids should not be discussed publicly.
• You think that the only person who should examine human feces is someone wearing a lab coat.
• You don’t like going to Pizza Hut.
• You prefer not to interact with teachers.
• You think Elmo’s voice is annoying.
• You like weddings — so much so that you’re the person who needs to be shooed off the dance floor at the end of night.
• You feel selfies mean pictures of yourself... alone.
• You feel chocolatey hands should steer clear of white couches and light-colored carpeting.
• You think the “quiet game” is not real.
• You think the word “vacation” means a relaxing time with peace and quiet.
• You think the term “playdate” is silly.
• You want to continue to use the word “baby” to address a significant other.
• You think All You Can Eat restaurants are absurd.
• You don’t know the actual lyrics to “Do Your Balls Hang Low” and “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.”
• You like to be alone sometimes.
• You feel negotiations should only occur between adults.
• You think bribery is unethical and has led to the downfall of many societies.
• You dislike staring contests.
• You feel the task of shaping another human being should be left to the professionals.

and a couple more reasons to 

[KDave]

I agreed with most of that list Paul. I have said it before - where were you 5 years ago when I needed you!? 

[Paul]

46 minutes ago, KDave said:

where were YOU - 5 years ago when I needed you oh logical, knowledgeable, normal, mainstream, trained, grounded, trustworthy financial advisor !? 

A lot richer and not sat on an accumulated too large pile of shiny silveryness emblazoned with monarchs, maple leafs & a menagaery of lunar heffalumps, dragons and moo cows

I should have invested in those magic beans Jack tried to sell me on my way to market - at least it would have led me to the promise of a GOLDEN egg {sigh}