MonkeysUncle

That's a new one on me. I was advised, not long before Covid, by a helpful Lloyds Bank lady to deposit cash in amounts under £3,000 to avoid attracting attention; I believe that figure was the mark they were obliged to notify HMRC. Their followed several deposits of £2,900 over successive dates. Nowt dodgy, an elderly gentleman simply paid cash for a second hand motor. Old boy didn't trust banks. Wise man.

Hong Kong Phooey.

Blister = that nasty plastic that Greta loves, plus some glue and a bit of ex-tree. Blister bad. But not as bad as British Government...

Binlord it on ebay as a super rare genuine piece of Royal Mint Limited Edition goodness... Got to be worth a zillion pounds...

Last time I bought a kettle in Argos they tried to flog me an extended warranty that cost more than the bloomin' kettle. Stuff like that it's Tesco's and fun with the "unexpected item in the bagging area" machine. Or that rate breed MonkeyusShopiusAssistantius. Tescos monkeys don't ask ze questions, zey 'ave not had ze Third Reich training! I am that t#&t who lies to intrusive unnecessary questions. So depending on my mood I'll give a very Muslim or very obvious African tribal name - I'm a ghostly white obvious English lardy ass - so this normally confuses the knuckle draggers. I have also claimed to be a Mr Caine and suggested shop doors might be susceptible to damage before now...

Private individuals need to keep records going back 7 years, that's correct. I think businesses have to keep for longer but I can't remember how long. My gaffer has plastic boxes full of paperwork going back to the 90's... it's his view that if HMRC want to camp out in our loft looking at musty old papers whilst risking life and limb from Boris the spider then let 'em!

In simple terms, based on my understanding, in theory HMRC should be made aware of Joe Soap spending over a certain amount within a 12 month period. I'm pretty sure that amount is £10,000. I sold a property in the recent past and sank a figure a good bit North of £10,000 into gold, in multiple purchases in the single figure thousands with the same dealer. A dealer who I have a long standing relationship with. Not heard a squeak or received a strange probe from Hector the Tax Inspector. So long as you're not knocking out dope and laundering your ill gotten gains there is nothing to worry about. Any business man these days tends to be wary of a man trousering a large envelope of cash. The days of rocking up at car auctions, spending 20, 30, 40 thousand and a large brown envelope being accepted are long gone! Use bank transfer I would suggest then you will have a nice clean traceable record if the tax man takes interest and money grabbing bankers won't steal their "share". And welcome to the soon to follow addiction of shiny stuff!

Definitely keep some dry powder. I always like to be ready for the worst, then if it happens at least immediate access to money needn't add to worries - I have two years salary sat as cash. About half of that is physical cash safely buried, call me paranoid but banks and IT don't reassure me!

...they lost this one. Except for 1 x bullion Sov annually, which is as addictive as a full fat Marlboro.

Late to the original question here but my two cents: Spread your money over multiple asset classes. Don't throw a huge percentage at metal or shares or magic beans or whatever. Only invest in anything if you are able to sustain a loss. For every chump talking the price of something up there is another talking it down. Have an exit strategy; that genuinely might be a hold indefinitely/ forever but consider a strategy, otherwise you could well end up resentful that X you bought has shed 70% of its value the last 12 months. Never believe any prediction of any market. It's as much a lottery as backing Pantomime Dobbin in the 3.30 at Haydock Park.

Unless I'm high on something that looks distinctly not round. Do you reckon if I wrap dog poo in kitchen foil I can get away with passing it off as silver coin on ebay?

Oh yes it does - one thing ebay gets right - the ability to report a dishonest seller, get your money back from ebay and publicly call them out. Thing is they won't go further and kick the sons of b£%@#÷× off the platform. Too many $$$ for them to lose out on I reckon...

But the postage is free, so it's alreet!

No arks? Can hardly raid it then

Now there's a novel idea. Keep your Sovs cunningly hidden inside a big yellow drill attachment...

Cancel. Sounds like a one keyer who is likely to be troublesome, ebay usually come down in buyers favour, so I wouldn't risk it.

Absolutely. That's how Arthur Scargill screwed up major and pretty much all the miners and union officials were too thick to realise. If you knock out coal to burn and make lots of warmth and leccy then the time to go on strike is approaching winter. Not when they did. And telegraphing intent were stupid too: Thatcher's Government had boat loads of Aussie coal en route. So the Posties definitely picked the right time. I'm waiting for public anger at the greedy so and so's in the NHS. 19% my backside, I'd sack the chuffing lot and let any nice foreign healthcare folk come over.

Aye, CGT allowance is MAHOOOOOSIVELY coming down. It'll be a mere 3 grand a year in the not too distant.

Defo avoid London Mint. Swerve the bullet and buy from Polo Mint, although I think those big holes mean they will not grade very high 😊

A Christmas Miracle has happened... my parcel had its booze up in Geordieland then magically turned up in Nottingham MC and delivered itself to Grantham. Clearly somebody has fed laxatives into the RM system and stuff is passing through again!

It's just another RM case that holds one coin less than you'd reasonably expect. Inspired by the Queens Beasts no doubt...

50K to hit the moon makes Bezos and Bransons jollies in space rockets seems expensive!

I have a number of claims in. They will pay them, because when some middle manager looks up my name they'll see the size of the sh!t storm I caused a year ago. Far easier to give me my near £200...

When SD arrives late fill out a claim online. You'll get back what you paid. If you live long enough for them to process the claim...

Great isn't it. An SD I sent that they lost has now reappeared... it was meant to be heading from Yorkshire to Nottinghamshire but it's so far gone to the Midlands, wandered South West for a city break, gone back to Birmingham - for a curry presumably - and has now surfaced in Newcastle. Obviously for a pre Christmas night on the sauce. As the destination is Newark I reckon it's the closest it's been. Alphabetically anyway! So much for postcodes...