*Inhales deep breath and enters northerner mode*
I would buy a nice haircut for $30 - $30?! Wor lass isn't happy unless it's £300! Nails n' al that patter!
I would buy a tank of gas for $60 - $60? Is petrol that cheap still? Does that mean we don't need to use red diesel?
And I have bought a night out for $90 - $90? Feed the whole bloody tribe a week for that, wor kiddah!
I would buy a TV cable package for $120/month - $120? Free if ya gan to the pub!
And I have bought a pair of shoes for $150 - $150? They made of bloody silver, like?
And I need to pay my cellular bill of $180 - $180? Wor man! Pay for the whole year in one pop, like?
I would buy car insurance for $200/month - $200? Car is worth less than that!
And I have bought groceries for $400 - $400? That's a weekend's worth of Newc'y broon dog!
And I need to pay my credit card of $700 - $700? They let you have credit cards?
And I want to buy a new snowblower for $1000 - $1,000? Ye want'a bloow wor snow aroound? Wor lass doesn't wear knickers till it's up to her crotch, man!
I would rent a nice place for $1500/month - $1,500/month? Ye ranting oot the whole of tha toon, like?
And I have bought a nice diamond ring for $3000 - $3,000? Ye, man! Give her a Gregg's pasty, more useful than some rock.
And I need to pay off my student loan of $7000 - $7,000? Wor educashun was right beltas, divn't think it cost a single poond! (I'm also going to put a sensible grumble in here about this figure being far below what it is- bloody swines!)
And I want to buy a vacation getaway for $20,000 - $20,000? Ye gannin on Air Force One, like? Gan'ta the beach, get yerself some fish n' chip's, like - proper jolly!
And I should have my savings account at $50,000 - $50,000? How's'at, like? Wor only get minimum wage, like! I'll be deed afor then!
I would buy a washer and dryer for $3000 - $3,000? Wor, lad, you divn't need ta buy the hawl laundry building!
And I have bought artwork for $5000 - $5,000? What you want'ya Mona Lisa for? Get ya'self a Newcastle mug, quality! Not that Sunderland s****!
And I need to pay off my car loan of $10,000 - $10,000? How man, I divn't think ya need the escort services of the Queen, just use wor trusty steed, got a few years left in him!
And I want to buy a new truck for $90,000 - $90,000? Wor, man, sounds like the dealer ripped you off on that one!
And I should have a portfolio worth $500,000 $500,000? Giz'us a fiver, kiddah! If ya have that much, you got some spare!
And I am going to pay $1,000,000 for a modest house… $1,000,000? You can'n't buy up the Duke of Northumberlands land! He'll send the goons n' burley men roond!
But I wouldn’t buy silver for $30 an ounce. - If your patter wur water, we'd al be drunn'in!
Overpriced? The silver, or everything else?
(I appreciate that some people will somehow manage to take the above sarcasm personally. As a side note, surely someone from the crypto community wants to come stumbling into this thread, like a drunk, vomit all over the place, order another round, and walk out, while whispering "Told you Bitcoin was the right investment".)